From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis
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This show is encouraging and hard at the same time. Debbie Simões survived South Phoenix shootouts, five-year-olds cursing her, and an assault that left her with a bruised liver, kidney, and separated shoulder. She still chooses to see the value in every child and to advise a way forward. Our value as teachers and students is not in whether we get everything right, but in just who we are. Each of us is valuable. Each of us needs hope. And we can be hope agents for each other! Her mantra is, “We are people of value who value people and add value to them.”
If you think your situation is too hard and nobody understands, Debbie does. Yet she is advising us on a way forward. One anchored in the truth of how hard and heartbreaking education can be in the hardest schools.
Now, we work hard to get the shows down to 10 minutes but on this one, my son John, who edits, came to me and said, “Mom, this is too important and I feel like she has lived this.” She’s perfect for a Motivational Monday. I challenge all of us to be a hope agent today for someone. Do something small. Be an encourager. Text someone. Take someone to lunch. Debbie shares how.
“We are people of value who value people and add value to them.”
Debbie Simões
Founder, Best Questers · Co-author, High Five to Thrive
Listen to the Show
My journey began teaching in inner-city classrooms, where I saw firsthand that student success was deeply tied to relationships, mindset, and school culture. I became a student—not just of pedagogy—but of how leadership, connection, and collective thought shape both teachers’ and students’ outcomes. Frustrated by bureaucracy, I helped open a dual-language charter school and served as principal, leading everything from instructional coaching to Title I, ESOL, and ESE compliance. I also served as Director of a university-based lab school. Along the way, I’ve earned two M.Ed.’s, devoured books, studied business and organizational coaching, enrolled in coaching programs, and trained with John Maxwell’s Leadership Team and the Center for Teacher Effectiveness.
Five years ago I started my own business, Best Questers, to equip educators—from the boardroom to the classroom—with practical, relevant, and meaningful tools that foster holistic growth and cultivate a hopeful, happy culture of belonging. I believe, as John Maxwell teaches, “We are people of value who value people and add value to them.” That belief drives everything I do. My calling in this season of my career is to equip and empower educators to live out their noble purpose with excellence, joy and hope. All teachers and students should love stepping into their greatness together each day!
If this episode encouraged you, would you leave a rating or review? It helps another tired teacher find a little hope.
Click to read the full transcript
Vicki Davis: Happy Motivational Monday. This is episode 950, and we’re talking about the importance of feeling valued in education. Our guest today encourages us teachers to be a hope agent — somebody who refills another person’s tank when it’s running low. Here are three ways you can become a hope agent this week. One: find someone who needs encouragement and leave them an anonymous note. Two: when you see someone doing something awesome, tell their administrator — not them, their principal. Let it come back to them from above. And three: put one positive into every conversation. Become a hope agent.
Announcer: This is the 10 Minute Teacher Podcast with your host, Vicki Davis.
Vicki Davis: I’m excited today to be talking with Debbie Simões. She’s the founder of Best Questers. She’s a John Maxwell certified coach and dedicated to equipping educators with leadership skills and helping people know that they are valued. Her newest book is High Five to Thrive. Now, Debbie, it’s really important to you that people feel valued. Why are you passionate about this?
Debbie Simões: Our potential — it’s tied to being valued and feeling valued, because what you think and believe has everything to do with what you achieve. Every single one of us is a person of value. We don’t always know that, and we’re not always treated like that, and sometimes we don’t even treat ourselves like that.
Vicki Davis: It is true. My classroom is called Masterpiece Theater. Ephesians 2:10 is my inspiration, because I believe every single one of us is a masterpiece. And just valuing people, slowing down and realizing that even that person who’s driving you crazy or whatever, they’re a person of value — that’s so important, especially in schools where our job is people.
Debbie Simões: That’s right. It just floods over into every single aspect of life. I think it’s something that we don’t always keep in the front of our mind. But when you really value people and you keep that in the front of your mind, you realize that I’m a person of value because I’m a people, and you’re a person of value. And like you said, even the person driving you nuts — we’re all a person of value. That kind of opens the floodgates. When we’re communicating, we can connect with one another instead of listening to respond, or listening to be right or correct someone. When we communicate to connect, it sort of teaches us to let go of communicating to correct. And that allows us to really build connections that uplift all of us.
Vicki Davis: We have to relate to educate. Can you give me a practical example of the difference in communicating these two different ways?
Debbie Simões: A lot of times we want to correct. And especially if you’re trained as a teacher, we have to correct. If you’re a parent too, you have to correct sometimes. In life, we all need other people to shine a light on our blind spots. But you can do it in such a way that you’re still preserving that connection — because if you’re correcting in a way that is demeaning and putting self-talk in that other person’s mind, you’re building limiting beliefs that are building walls around that person’s potential. And if you’re that person doing it to yourself, we accept those limiting beliefs and they become part of how we see ourselves.
Debbie Simões: I guess as an example — what I’m going to give is not from my classroom, but more from my family. My parents are up in age and they have dementia. That one thing has been life-changing, because our relationship cannot flourish if I’m always correcting them. If I’m remembering that I am communicating to connect, most of the things that they’re getting mixed up don’t really matter. And a lot of times, as a teacher or a parent, it’s the same. Not everything has to be corrected.
Vicki Davis: Right. And you do learn that. My mom passed away from dementia in 2020. I think that’s a mistake that I made a lot early on in her situation. It’s like, hey, let’s just relax and enjoy being together. If you want to ask me the same question seven times, I’m going to answer it seven times, because I’m with you. It is a great example. You talked about early on being kind to yourself — how you treat yourself.
Debbie Simões: I noticed as a teacher, especially early in my career, I was so critical of myself, because I had those high ideals and expectations. And of course, I was just learning. I didn’t know how to do it all. And I always taught in inner-city school districts. My first job was in South Phoenix. We had shootouts at my school on a regular basis. My five-year-olds were telling me to F off and things like that. And it was a whole new world for me. And I didn’t have a lot of support at that school. So I was just learning. I just didn’t have like those hope agents, I like to call them — people that lift you up and give you that hope when your gas tank is a little low.
Debbie Simões: I’ve learned that when you really don’t take the time to be tuned in to the thoughts that are in your head, and you don’t have an awareness of how critical those thoughts are — because they guide you in what you’re willing to do, what you’re going to be able to do — it’s all tied to what you think you’re going to be able to do. And whether you see yourself as a person of value. As I’ve gone through life, and especially as a teacher — particularly with those students who have one or both parents in jail, and a lot of dysfunction in their lives that they’re dealing with, a lot of times abuse that they’re dealing with — the messages that they’re getting are not always affirming in a positive way. My superpower quickly became, even in my very first year, seeing beyond the mask of the behavior to the real person and the value of that person within. I feel very blessed that I developed that.
Debbie Simões: Each person is a priceless gift to the world. And what you do with the gift, that’s really all up to you. We as teachers are going to shape that destiny, but it’s ultimately up to the individual. It has to go beyond that kind of praise — especially the praise like “good boy, good girl,” behavior-based praise. But when we have identity-based praise, that’s really affirming who they are, and that the person they are is someone of value, and helping them cultivate those kinds of thoughts. So I felt like that was really my most important job as a teacher. I didn’t always measure up to that myself, because I’m a person. Sometimes my classroom would get on my nerves. I have to be honest — I’m not above that. I can’t say I was a teacher for all those years and nobody ever got on my nerves. It did sometimes. And I had to remind myself: remember Brian Cambourne’s Conditions for Learning? His were related to literacy — about immersion, demonstration, and so on. But one of them was approximation. And I used to keep Brian Cambourne’s Conditions for Learning in front of me on my desk, so that I could remind myself every day that I’m approximating and that my kids are approximating. And our value isn’t tied to whether we get everything perfect. Our value is: are we being the best person that we can — the best you? Are you being the best you that you can be?
Vicki Davis: My principal and I were talking not too long ago about some of the most difficult situations I’ve dealt with with students. Those students have become some of the dearest to me. And in many ways, I’m dear to them. They keep choosing to take my classes — because when you can see past behavior and see the value of the person, that makes such a difference. So, Debbie, pretend like I’m one of those students that’s just, you know, cussed at you — a five-year-old. How do you look past the profanity and the anger and the clenched fist?
Debbie Simões: Well, I think it would depend, because you have to have a relationship with each individual to really know the best thing that you can think of. And there’s not one right answer. For me, what I would do, first of all, take a deep breath and realize that a lot of times it’s not about you — and thinking about what is that student dealing with in their life, and who are they, where are they coming from, and where is that coming from? And in that moment, the kinds of things I might say to a student is something like: “That hurts me. I’m a person.” It’s okay to be a person with your kids. In fact, if you’re really going to connect with them, they have to also see you as a person. I go to the grocery store — I remember seeing my teacher in the grocery store once when I was a little girl. And I was like, my teacher goes to the grocery store? As if my teacher, what, didn’t eat? What did I think? I don’t know. When you connect with them and say, “That hurts my heart when you say things like that — and not just because you’re saying it to me, but because you have that feeling in your heart. Let’s take a few minutes to calm down and think about where’s that feeling coming from. And we can talk about it in a few minutes, because I know that’s not who you really are.”
Vicki Davis: I love your loving approach. Debbie, it’s not always easy, and sometimes we struggle with burnout and exhaustion. We’re recording today, and I had to really work on getting my energy level up, because I didn’t have a bad day, but it’s exhausting. How do we do this when we’re tired?
Debbie Simões: That is exactly why my business partners and I wrote High Five to Thrive — because we feel that from teachers, and we know the data is there. We’re losing teachers, and we are not replacing them at the rate that we’re losing teachers. This is a nationwide crisis: teacher retention. We as teachers have to learn — generally speaking, and I am not wanting to stereotype — but if somebody went into the field of teaching, number one, I’ve never met a teacher that said, “What am I going to do with my life? I could really make some money if I just be a teacher, and I’m going to be rich. I’m going to have the summers off.” Nobody goes into teaching for the money. So teachers have a calling. I think I see it sometimes on Facebook, that teachers feeling frustrated and angry. I see sometimes comments: “I’m tired — if one more person tells me to lean into my purpose, I want to choke them.” And I can understand that. But really and truly, you can’t just say, “Well, lean into your purpose.” It’s the context in which that message hits you, whether you can receive that or not.
Vicki Davis: Yeah. And your situation — if you can’t pay the bills, it makes you angry. Our joke at our house is that, because I started off in the business world, if my husband wasn’t an engineer, we couldn’t support my teaching. And I’ve always done stuff on the side, like Cool Cat Teacher, which is a calling also. There were seasons where my students didn’t have enough and I felt like I had to buy more stuff, and I needed stuff for my kids when they were in school. The struggle is real. Yeah, we want to do this job, but it’s also a professional job. It’s not something just anybody can do right off the street.
Debbie Simões: No, no, it is not. There’s something John Maxwell says to us whenever we have our Maxwell leadership conventions. And when I first heard it, I thought, well, that’s a whole lot of redundancy. Why does he keep repeating? It’s really at the heart of who I am and how I approach things. And I feel like this is a message that really needs to get out there — this is how we’re going to transform schools into vibrant hubs of engagement and belonging: having a mantra that we are people of value who value people and add value to them. That’s really what teaching is. It’s believing that we’re all people of value. You don’t go into teaching believing, well, some of my kids are going to be of value but not all of them. There’s that one over there — that one over there might not behave like they’re a person of value, but that means they need a little something extra. And most teachers are going to do the best they can to try to figure out what the little something extra is and make the magic happen.
Debbie Simões: When you internalize that — and if we had that mantra as the motto of every classroom and every school — just imagine what a very different approach we would be taking. And I think when you’re in the context of that, and you feel really valued, and you value others, and you see people trying to add value to you — then when you’re having a bad day and someone is trying to help you lean into your purpose, then you’re a little more likely to receive it than if you’re not feeling valued. Things are all relative. But to me, it is never acceptable. I feel heartbroken that it’s a thing today that on social media there are groups to help teachers transition out of teaching into something else. The reason why that’s unacceptable and really heartbreaking to me is because teachers are not just teaching because that’s just any old job they could get. It’s because they had a calling and a purpose. And that matters. Not everybody has that calling. Nobody should have to give up on their calling because of all the bureaucracy that they’re fed up with — not feeling supported, not feeling there’s a way to get the behaviors of your students to align with your vision for what your classroom should be like.
Debbie Simões: You know, I was a teacher. I didn’t have my kids always behaving. Things that I have witnessed are things I never, ever thought I would have ever seen. I always taught little ones. I once was assaulted by a first grader when I worked for D.C. public schools, and I had a bruised liver, a bruised kidney, and a separated shoulder. But that was heartbreaking for me, because the consequences of that were not in my control. Twenty years later, I’m still wondering what I could have done differently to have a better outcome for that young man. But I’m not perfect by any means, and I was never a perfect teacher. I had a perfect intention, and I just approximated the best I can. I feel that if I only knew what I know now — if I only had someone to encourage me and help my school really rally around one another, and building that community of learners as teachers even — that we’re a community of learners, and that we value ourselves and others, and we add value to one another. If I had a situation like that, and someone helping me understand leadership principles… Teachers don’t see themselves as leaders, but they are. They are influencers.
Vicki Davis: Influencers in the most important way. I want to say this: no teacher should ever have to fear for their life or be assaulted. But then again, no kid should ever have to fear for their life and be assaulted. Violence is just so heartbreaking, and there are no easy answers. But I do know this: treating people with respect, kindness, and valuing them — it just has to be part of the equation of what we do. And a lot of times that’s not necessarily taught in the classes we take to be teachers. You’ve used the word “hope agent.” How can we be hope agents for each other?
Debbie Simões: I think number one is just being aware that we all kind of have a hope tank, like a gas tank, and we all need to refill it sometimes. Having that awareness really allows you to walk alongside someone when they need that. But sometimes we have to hold the vision for someone else. We need someone else to hold the vision for us at times. When you have someone that can hold that up for you and say, “Hey, wait a minute — this is who you are, and this is where you’re heading. And you have such an important skill, and just your presence means so much to other people. We really need you. You’re going to be fine. This is a difficult thing that you’re in, but it’s not going to be forever.” And, you know, just whatever that person needs in that moment. And that’s being a hope agent.
Vicki Davis: Debbie Simões — and the book is High Five to Thrive. Debbie, thank you for telling us your story.
Debbie Simões: Thank you for having me. This was amazing.
Vicki Davis: Thanks for tuning in to the 10 Minute Teacher Podcast. Watch the video version of this podcast and catch my new radio and TV show, Cool Cat Teacher Talk, on YouTube and a radio or TV station near you. Join my Cool Cat Teacher Classroom Matters newsletter at coolcatteacher.com/newsletter. Leave a review if you found this helpful. See you later, educator.
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